How to Change My Passive Aggressive Personality

There are two main problems with passive-aggressive behavior. One is that core problems are rarely solved by acting in this manner, and the other is that passive-aggressive actions often cause tensions to build slowly over time, only to explode later. If you constantly find yourself reacting to conflict with passive-aggressive behavior, focusing on changing your reactions is an excellent way to improve the quality of your relationships. Changing part of your personality is never easy, but positive change is often worth the effort.

Identify the problem. If you are being passive-aggressive, is it a reaction to something with which you are unhappy? You have to identify what you are upset about before you can work on a solution.

Ask yourself if you are expecting too much of the person with whom you are angry. Many passive-aggressive individuals expect their friends and family to understand why they are angry without ever explaining the issue.

Try to keep your communication open and honest. If someone’s actions upset you, address those actions on the spot by telling that person how you feel. You do not have to be rude or angry, but you should be open about your feelings.

Focus on the way you behave when you feel a certain way. Masking your anger or sadness with different behaviors does not help you or your relationships — if you are angry, let that emotion surface until the reason for your anger has been addressed.

Inform your friends and family about your intent to improve your reactions to situations and ask for their help. It is very useful to have people around you that will call out passive-aggressive behavior should you slip up.